Keep Calm You’re Getting Married | The Washington at Historic Yellow Springs

By Yellowsprings on June 22, 2015

Paiva Psychotherapy

Paiva Psychotherapy

I’ve asked Michele Paiva of Paiva Psychotherapy to provide couples of The Washington at Historic Yellow Springs with her insight once more on family dynamics and the wedding planning process.

I often see not only brides and grooms getting stressed out, but parents of both couples. Are there ways to get everyone to sit down and communicate more effectively without feeling stressed, or getting hurt feelings?

“Any stress- good or bad- a wedding or a crisis- is going to push people’s resiliency. This is going to sound strange, but this actually not the time to get everyone to sit down and talk if emotions are high; the reason is that everyone is behaving on conscious and subconscious manners and you won’t change that in one sitting or even a few. The couple need to set boundaries that are agreed upon as a unit; I believe the wedding is a good barometer of how the first year or two may go- even a few years. If it’s out of control and dramatic, then that sets the tone. If it is met with compassion, love and understanding that everyone is feeling heightened emotions, then that is a good way to approach it for everyone. 

I want to add that the media has made a mockery of weddings, brides, and relationships. All of these cheaply produced but high-rating shows like Bridezilla, Bachelor, Housewives, etc…. all of these shows instigate and make light of reality, as reality tv is hardly reality. This is damaging because if a bride has a swing of emotions which is normal, the joke should not be on how she is a ‘bridezilla’. There is a place where the couples relationship should be seen as respectful, and if the wedding isn’t it, I am not sure what is. Of course, have fun, but don’t forget that it is a reflection of love, a celebration of everyone, and a combining of many people to share in a beautiful moment”. 

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